Highway to Hell? Or Is That Heaven?
What鈥檚 in a highway? It depends, it turns out, on who you鈥檙e listening to.
For years, nativist fearmongers and assorted conspiracy theorists have asserted that Interstate 35 鈥� the highway that traverses the U.S. in a 1,568-mile path from Laredo, Texas, to Duluth, Minn. 鈥� is a part of a that spells national ruin and an invasion of illegal immigrants. In the words of Jerome Corsi, the architect of the Swift boat attacks on John Kerry and a general conspiracy nut, the Bush Administration and various evil allies are 鈥渜uietly but systematically鈥� moving forward on 鈥渢his key piece of the coming 鈥楴orth American Union鈥�.鈥� I-35, groups like the conspiracy-minded John Birch Society add, will soon be transformed into a 10-lane corridor designed expressly to bring in workers and products that will destroy American workers鈥� livelihoods and bring the much-feared union of Mexico, the United States and Canada one grim step closer to reality.
But wait! Now comes a whole new set of people with their own unusual ideas, and they say that I-35 isn鈥檛 evil after all 鈥� on the contrary, it鈥檚 the 鈥淗ighway of Holiness,鈥� the very same one prophesied in Isaiah 35:8: 鈥淎nd a highway will be there; it will be called the way of holiness.鈥� This amazing news comes courtesy of CBN鈥檚 鈥淭he 700 Club,鈥� the Christian Right television show hosted by Pat Robertson, who once blamed 9/11 on gays, feminists, abortionists and sundry liberals.
As by 700 Club 鈥渞eporter鈥� Paul Strand (a tip of the hat to the folks at Pam鈥檚 House Blend for capturing this), a group of Texas-based Christian Right churches, 鈥渂ecause of recent prophesies, dreams and visions,鈥� are staging 鈥減urity sieges鈥� up and down the highway at gay bars, abortion clinics, strip clubs and adult bookstores. Cindy Jacobs, one of the pastors behind the sieges, said she had received instructions from God to 鈥淸g]o to these cities and cry out for holiness and purity, and [then] I鈥檒l come down and I鈥檒l invade.鈥�
Apparently, the 鈥減urity鈥� campaign has saved at least one man from himself. In CBN鈥檚 report, 鈥減urity siegers鈥� are seen praying and apparently converting James Stabile, a 19-year old gay man, into a heterosexual. 鈥淗e just barely touched me and he said, 鈥楩ire!鈥� and I remember staggering back and I thought I was tripping on acid. It was the weirdest thing ever,鈥� Stabile recounted. 鈥淎nd he said, 鈥楩ire!鈥� again and I fell in the Holy Ghost.鈥� Stabile said he felt God 鈥渏ust came in and transformed me and radically saved me. 鈥� I didn鈥檛 feel the desires to be with men like I had felt before.鈥�
At press time, I-35 remained an interstate and did not seem to have become a pathway for invasion, divine, demographic or otherwise. As The Washington Post鈥檚 Factchecker blog concluded, the theories surrounding I-35 are 鈥渁 superhighway to nowhere.鈥� But Paul Strand, CBN鈥檚 intrepid reporter, has a different take. 鈥淪ome folks might think it odd,鈥� Strand said as he wrapped up his report. 鈥淏ut how strange is it really that He鈥檚 using a highway to lead people to The Way?鈥�
